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For the Sake of His Child
Bonnie K. Winn
After tragedy deprives her of the two people she loves most, Brynn Alder decides to leave her old life behind and start over in Texas Hill Country. Here she'll help troubled kids get their lives in order–it's the only way she can make sense of everything that's happened to her.But she knows that she'll be able to help only if she doesn't get emotionally involved. Of course, that's before she meets Jake McKenzie and his daughter, Andrea.Jake wants to be a good father, but he needs Brynn's help. And when circumstances force him to stay at the isolated ranch with Brynn and Andrea, emotions build and refuse to be denied.
“Andrea’s starting to heal. Thanks to you.”
Brynn’s anxiety was still strong. “Partially. Some of it’s in her. But the most important step is still up to you.”
Jake looked puzzled. “And you don’t think I’ll do my part?”
Wanting so much for Andrea, Brynn battled between diplomacy and truth. “I know you’ll do everything in your power right now because you’ve nearly lost her. But what about later on? Will the next project in Kenya mean more than Andrea’s sense of stability?”
“That was a low blow.”
“I didn’t mean it to be. I’m just trying to be realistic. Your job takes you far away. And I don’t think Andrea can bear that anymore.”
He blinked. “You’re saying I have to choose between my career and my daughter?”
Dear Reader,
In the life of a writer, fact and fiction occasionally race along hand in hand. And when emotion begs to join them, a story grows. Such was the case in For the Sake of His Child.
Blessed with the world’s most wonderful friends, I’ve shared some of their generosity and experiences. Perhaps you’ll recognize yourself in the pages. Friends reaching out to friends. What could be better? Unless maybe it’s the love such friends find with the men in their lives. Men we cherish as we shop, talk endlessly over lunch and, even better, when we go home at night.
Please join me as I celebrate the unmatched joys of romance, friendship, single parenting and the quest for that one special love.
And to my own Mr. Right, keep the lights on, sweetheart. I’ll be home soon.
Sincerely,
Bonnie K. Winn
For the Sake of His Child
Bonnie K. Winn
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Jean Baker, for friendship, for giving, for sharing,
for always caring. I miss you, Texas girl.
And to Laura Shin, thank you.
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
PROLOGUE
San Antonio, Texas
GLANCING IN THE REARVIEW mirror, Kirk Alder accelerated. The same dark green car remained close behind. The one that had tailed him from his studio.
Searching his memory, Kirk was almost positive the car hadn’t been there before then. Not at the house, not at—
The deceptively fast Cadillac sped even closer.
Kirk reached for his cell phone. Cursing, he realized he’d left it behind at the studio, stashed in his camera bag. His mission had been so urgent he hadn’t bothered with either.
Speeding up again, he wished he’d driven the Eclipse. The van’s steering was clumsy and he didn’t want to try any evasive maneuvers with the boxy vehicle. But it was Brynn’s day out with Sarah. His wife and daughter loved the sleek lines of the Eclipse and they’d taken off for a day of shopping early that morning. And at the time he hadn’t thought he’d have to evade a pursuer.
He glanced ahead on the freeway, spotting the exit he needed not too far away. Switching lanes at the last minute, he hoped to outwit the driver behind him. But the Cadillac stuck right behind him on the two-lane overpass.
It was time—past time—to talk with the police. He’d already waited too long. The police station was close.
A slow-moving eighteen-wheeler hogged the right lane, the one he had to be in to exit. Swearing, he looked to the left, hoping to pass the truck and speed ahead.
But the dark green Cadillac was still on his tail.
Before he could guess the driver’s intention, the Cadillac slammed into the side of the van.
Kirk wrenched the steering wheel, trying to regain control. The van swayed on the high overpass.
Trapped behind the huge truck as he was, with the Cadillac boxing him in, there was no escape.
Desperately clenching the steering wheel with all his strength, he tried to prepare for the next blow. This time the heavy car made a direct hit on the driver’s-side door.
The sounds of tearing metal and shattering glass barely penetrated, blocked out by his last conscious thought: It wasn’t supposed to end this way! God, please let Brynn understand…please.
CHAPTER ONE
Two years later, Walburg, Texas
THERE WAS A TIME when Brynn Alder had not been sad. A time before her life had been stolen. A time when she had reason to be happy.
Tall French doors stood ajar, opening onto the cobbled brick terrace. Black and white chickadees perched in the huge, aged oak tree, sharing morsels from the well-stocked feeder. As Brynn watched, a blue jay swooped toward them and they darted away. Sometimes, when all was still, the chickadees tentatively breached the boundary between their world and hers, hopping inside from the terrace, crossing the warm wood floor of her studio. They always made her smile.
Although Brynn had known the Texas Hill Country was beautiful before she’d moved here nine months earlier from San Antonio, her true appreciation hadn’t developed until she’d settled in this house, drawn by the security it offered.
“Brynn, I’m going to get it this time,” thirteen-year-old Emily insisted, panting as she tried to shape the slippery clay. It was time for the child to go home, to move past her troubles now that she had the coping skills she’d learned from Brynn. But not before she had one more try at the potter’s wheel.
“Savor the feel of the clay in your hands,” Brynn reminded her. It was the sensation, not the end result, that she wanted the girl to carry with her. Brynn closed her eyes, picturing not Emily, but her own daughter, Sarah, sitting at the wheel, a determined, expectant expression on her young face.
“Rats!” Emily interrupted the fantasy. “I blew another one.” She held up a lumpy, shapeless object. “You’re right. This isn’t for everybody.”
Brynn smiled gently, glad Emily would take away this important concept. Ignoring the emptiness in her heart, she reached for the piece of clay. “And learning that lesson makes this a wonderful memento of our time here together. May I keep it?”
A gigantic smile erupted on Emily’s freckled face. “You really want to keep it?”
“Absolutely!” Brynn glanced at the clock on the studio wall. “But now you have to pack.” She had given in to Emily’s request for one last walk, horse ride and session at the wheel. “Your parents should be here any minute.”
“Okay.”
Emily was a changed child. When she’d come to Brynn six weeks earlier, there had been no trace of a smile and no willingness to obey the simple rules Brynn insisted upon. It was ironic, her ability to read what other people’s troubled children needed. If only she’d been so attuned to her own.
It was too difficult to go there, to relive the pain and loss. Instead, she followed Emily up the stairs, then detoured to her own room. Quickly Brynn exchanged her smock for a fresh T-shirt. She made few concessions to ceremony these days, since the remote location of the house seldom made them necessary. There were times it seemed she lived on the edge of the world. And despite the counsel of family and friends, she needed the solitude.
Loneliness wasn’t a factor. Brynn knew she’d be equally alone in a crowded room. When she’d lost the ones she loved, a chasm had rent her soul. And no one could fill that void.
One of her beloved dogs, a Border collie named Virgil, pushed his muzzle into her hand. She patted his silky head and his tail wagged in silent support as they walked down the stairs together.
Brynn had only enough time to fix some iced tea before the doorbell rang. The Hills, Emily’s parents, could scarcely contain their anxiety.
But before Brynn could reassure them, Emily rushed down, her shoes making a noisy clatter on the wooden stairs. Running forward, she hugged her parents eagerly.
Surprise changed to gratitude as the Hills returned Emily’s embrace, the room filling with enthusiastic voices.
A few minutes later, Emily’s father still looked stunned as he glanced toward Brynn. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Enjoy your beautiful daughter,” Brynn replied.
After accepting thanks, she watched the trio get into their car, then waved until they were out of sight. Once back inside, with the door closed, she found that the silence seemed louder than the noise the happy family had made. Only the clicking of Virgil’s toenails broke the stillness.
Brynn strolled through the studio and onto the terrace. The house was too quiet, as it always was when a child left. And this one had stayed longer than most. As a result, Brynn was behind in her work. Contracts to three galleries had yet to be filled and she couldn’t afford to lose the work. However, once the commissioned pieces were completed, she needed to rest. She couldn’t mentor another child unless she had some downtime first.
Sitting in a comfortable, deep rocker, she surveyed the open green field before her. Her other three dogs were playing in the long grass, chasing rabbits or each other. Virgil was the one who glued himself to her side, keeping watch. Still, all the animals had adjusted well to the move. And to think less than a year earlier she’d had no pets. Now she couldn’t imagine not having them around.
Virgil had been a gift from her best friend, Julia Ford. Worried about Brynn after Sarah’s death, Julia had brought over the faithful dog. Unable to face the responsibility of having to care for another living creature and perhaps failing it, Brynn had determinedly headed for the shelter where Julia had purchased the dog, intending to return him. However, as she walked the aisles of caged animals, her tender heart had betrayed her.
Instead of returning Virgil, Brynn had brought home three additional dogs destined for destruction that day, along with two cats marked for a similar fate. And now they were her family.
A flash of sable surfaced in the field and she smiled. Shamus, her big, rambunctious setter mix, was galloping away from his smaller playmates. Brynn was indebted to her friend for far more than her pets. This was Julia’s ranch—loaned to Brynn without hesitation or limitations.
Brynn’s cell phone rang, interrupting her musing. She considered ignoring it, but knew she no longer had that luxury. The ranch phone rarely rang. Julia’s visits were sporadic and most callers knew that the cell phone was the best way to reach Brynn.
The man’s authoritative voice was one she didn’t recognize, and his request one she was hoping to avoid.
She listened to him for a few moments. “I’m sorry, Mr.… is it McKenzie? But I really can’t take on another child at this time.” Even now, exhaustion seeped through her bones. Helping a child took every bit of her limited emotional reserves.
“I was told you are the best,” McKenzie responded.
Hearing determination in his tone, she winced, knowing how desperate some parents were for help. “I appreciate the compliment—”
“It’s not a compliment. I wouldn’t be bothering you if I had an alternative. I’m not crazy about sending my child away. But she needs you.”
Brynn swallowed, hating to refuse, but knowing she had to. Battered by the events of the past year, her emotions were fragile. Although she volunteered willingly, she knew her limits. “Mr. McKenzie, the same people who recommended me can find you someone else.”
“You have a unique approach, Mrs. Alder. No one else takes a child on a one-to-one basis. Group programs haven’t helped my daughter. She’s been in the highly recommended ones and the mildly recommended ones. They didn’t make a dent.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. McKenzie.”
“This can’t be discussed on the phone,” he replied. “I can be at your place tomorrow—”
“No!” Fear made the word a screech. She calmed her voice. “As I said, I can’t help her. Goodbye, Mr. McKenzie.” She shut the phone, unwilling to hear more. Feeling the tightness in her throat, she made herself breathe more slowly.
Brynn had reluctantly given her phone number to Julia, family and a few doctors, but she’d never divulged her new home’s location. Even her mail went to a post office box in San Antonio, which Julia checked. Her friend alerted her to anything that needed an immediate response, then brought the mail when she visited. And so far, it had worked. No one had bothered her here.
Breathing normally now, Brynn rubbed Virgil’s ears. “I’m being ridiculous,” she told the dog. “There’s no way Mr. McKenzie or anyone else can find us here.”
Still, she felt better once she’d rounded up all the pets and securely locked them inside for the evening.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING Jake McKenzie wasn’t in any better humor, having driven through San Antonio’s rush hour and then another three hours to the outlying edge of the Hill Country.
As chief engineer of worldwide Canyon Construction, he had grappled with seemingly impossible projects—bridges that spanned massive distances, skyscrapers that defied earthquakes and mammoth construction sites hundreds of miles from civilization. But his twelve-year-old daughter, Andrea, was beyond his scope.
He slowed the car as he studied the sprawling ranch-style house. It didn’t look particularly remarkable. But the woman who lived there was reported to be more than remarkable. The parents of a child she’d helped had raved about Brynn’s success with their troubled daughter, so Jake had convinced a friend to put him in touch with Mrs. Alder.
He parked beneath a tall oak tree, and as he left the car, it was so quiet Jake wondered if she was home. The garage was set to the side and behind the low house. Its doors were shut firmly, concealing whether a car was inside.
Climbing the steps to the wide front porch, he strode to the door and knocked firmly. The deep quiet was shattered. Dogs barked madly, and something smacked the other side of the door. One of the dogs, he guessed. But he didn’t back away. He’d fight a pack of wolves if it meant helping Andrea.
As the yelping continued, he heard a woman’s voice through the noise. “Who is it?”
“Jake McKenzie.”
“McKenzie?”
“We spoke on the phone yesterday.”
For a moment all he could hear was the barking. Then she commanded the dogs to be quiet. “I told you then I couldn’t help you, Mr. McKenzie.”
“Are we going to continue talking through the door?”
Several more seconds passed. Then the door opened a few inches, but the chain remained in place.
He peered inside, but couldn’t see much. The woman’s face was shadowed. “I’ve driven for hours to see you, Mrs. Alder.”
“Not at my invitation.” Suspicion still filled her voice. “How did you find out where I live?”
“From the parents of a child you helped, Susan Cranston.”
Brynn sucked in her breath. “That information is strictly confidential.”
“I’m not here to solicit state secrets. I want to discuss my daughter.”
When she didn’t speak, he wondered if she was going to shut the door. However, she unhooked the chain, then opened the door wider. “Come in,” she said, although her face and stance eloquently illustrated her reluctance.
He quickly noted the well-worn look of the house, but his examination was cut short as four dogs rushed forward to sniff at him. “You have quite a few dogs.”
“Yes.”
No explanations, excuses or boasting about her pets. He followed as she walked down a few steps into a rustic, oak-paneled den. The high ceiling was crisscrossed with thick, heavy beams, but light flooded in through tall, wide windows. One wall, a huge fireplace dominating its center, was nearly all stone—river rock that matched the exterior. It looked like a man’s room—probably her husband’s.
She gestured to a tall-backed leather club chair. As he sank into its comfortable depths, Brynn perched on the edge of the nearby sofa. Clearly she wasn’t anticipating a lengthy visit.
“I want to tell you about Andrea,” Jake began, sensing he had to cram as much information as possible into the time allotted to him. “Her mother, Val, abandoned us more than a year ago. It devastated Andrea. Even though Val was far from an ideal parent, she’d been physically there for our daughter until then.”
“And you?”
“My job takes me all over the world. I employ a small household staff, including a nanny, but that can’t take the place of a parent.”
“Does Andrea see her mother?”
Jake met her eyes. “No. Val walked away and hasn’t looked back. Not surprising, since she never wanted a child. I’ve tried to make it up to Andrea, but nothing’s worked. She withdrew when Val left. She’s no longer interested in friends, certainly not school. Her straight A’s have dropped to failing grades. I thought time would heal the worst of her pain, but it hasn’t.”
“There are good doctors—”
“I’ve tried psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors.”
“It takes time, Mr. McKenzie. A child isn’t like a work project that can be completed by a certain date.”
He set his mouth in a grim line. “We’re running out of time, Mrs. Alder.”
Brynn’s eyes widened in alarm. “Has she attempted suicide?”
“No. But she’s stopped eating and…I’m afraid she’s going to slip away.”
“You need to find a program that’s suited—”
“You’re not listening, Mrs. Alder. As I told you on the phone yesterday, Andrea doesn’t respond to programs.”
“And I’m afraid you’re not listening, Mr. McKenzie. I’m not prepared to take on another child right now. Perhaps in a few months—”
“By then it could be too late. The doctors have her drugged with medications that are supposed to help. Instead the pills make her numb. The solution isn’t more drugs or another group. She needs dedicated one-on-one care.”
“Then perhaps that’s what you should try.”
Jake could feel the tic in his jaw as anger kicked in. “Unfortunately, my success rate can’t compare with yours.”
“And unfortunately, I have work that must be completed. I simply can’t accept another child right now.”
Jake narrowed his eyes. “I’m prepared to triple the amount you charge, with a hefty bonus as well.”
Brynn stood up, flanked by her dogs. “I don’t charge for working with children. Money isn’t going to change my mind.”
He stood in turn. “You can name your price,” he insisted, unable to accept that she wouldn’t help his daughter.
Brynn gestured to the door. “Mr. McKenzie, I’d be happy to get in touch with a doctor who’s been very successful with deeply troubled teenagers, but now, I must insist that this conversation end.”
“I’m not giving up.”
“I’m not expecting you to,” she replied quietly. “Just realize I’m not the last stop in your search.”
Again he met her eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, Mrs. Alder.”
As the door closed behind him, he could hear the locks immediately tumble into place, followed by the latching of the chain. It was a good three-hour drive home, but that didn’t dissuade him. He’d never taken no for an answer and he wasn’t going to start now.
INSIDE, BRYNN SLUMPED against the door, her breathing shallow, her pulse fluttering. Shock from the man’s unexpected presence wasn’t receding. Instead it worsened. If he could find her, how safe was this house? And why had the Cranstons disregarded their promise to keep her personal information private?
Virgil nudged her gently and she gave him a reassuring pat. When the dog’s ears pricked up, she walked quickly to the window to see Jake McKenzie’s car driving away. Replaying his words in her mind, she felt chilled. His insistence about the money was disturbing. Those who knew of her work also knew that she did it on a voluntary basis. Even though she needed the money from her gallery contracts, she never intended to accept payment for her mentoring. She couldn’t profit from a child in trouble. And if Jake McKenzie was who he said he was, he should know that.
“ANDREA, we’re almost there.” Jake glanced over at his daughter. But she didn’t respond, instead staring out the window.
He pictured the bright, happy child she had been before her mother’s defection. Laughter had come to her easily then. And she would have been chattering nonstop during the ride. Today she hadn’t spoken half a dozen words since they’d gotten in the car. His heart ached for what she had lost, what she continued to lose.
It was nearly six o’clock. He had wanted to return to the Hill Country earlier, but Andrea had been particularly uncooperative. Since Brynn Alder had seemed spooked at midday, he didn’t want to escalate her uneasiness by showing up after dark. He knew he had a fight on his hands to get the woman to reverse her decision. One that more phone calls wouldn’t win. But surely when she looked into Andrea’s face, saw the drugged emptiness of her eyes, the pain even massive medication couldn’t mask…
Spotting Brynn’s house, he turned in. As he parked, a huge dog bounded toward the car. Recognizing the lively setter from earlier, he got out of the car, then opened the passenger door. Andrea stepped out and the dog jumped up on her, its paws on her shoulders.
She was paralyzed for a moment, looking scared. However, the dog began licking her face and the fright receded.
As Jake watched, stunned to see Andrea respond to anything, they were suddenly surrounded by the three other dogs. Looking up, Jake saw Brynn Alder run around the side of her house. When she spotted him, she stopped. To his surprise, he saw fear in her face.
Exasperation he could understand. But not fear. Then it hit him. If she was here alone, she probably felt vulnerable.
He lifted a hand in greeting. She didn’t look reassured. Her gaze shifted, taking in Andrea and the dog.
“Shamus, down!” she commanded.
The dog licked Andrea’s face one last time, then obeyed.
Brynn approached, signaling her dogs, three of which trotted to her side. “Mr. McKenzie. What are you doing here?”
“I brought my daughter to meet you.”
Shamus stayed at the girl’s side as she turned. Brynn felt a stab in her heart. Although the girl’s face didn’t resemble her daughter’s, in hindsight the pain she saw there was familiar. Even though it had only surfaced on occasion, it must have been the pain that had eventually caused Sarah to take her own life.
Brynn gulped back her emotion as Jake McKenzie stared curiously at her. She took a few steps forward, unable to resist the lure of the child. Oh, to have a chance again with Sarah, to make right what she hadn’t done when Sarah was alive. To save her this time…
“Mrs. Alder?”
Brynn jerked her gaze from the girl to Jake McKenzie.
“This is Andrea.”
Brynn curved her trembling lips into a smile. “It’s good to meet you, Andrea.”
The girl didn’t respond.
Brynn wasn’t bothered by the lack of reaction. Instead she said, “Let’s go inside. You’re probably thirsty after your long drive.”
Jake looked relieved to hear the invitation. Dropping an arm over Andrea’s shoulders, he gently shepherded her inside, walking into the comfortable room. Once they’d sat down, Shamus settled at Andrea’s feet. McKenzie watched his daughter. “He likes you, Annie.”
Hesitantly she reached out to pet the dog. In return, the gentle giant gazed adoringly at her.
Brynn reluctantly pulled her own gaze away. “Make yourselves comfortable. I’ll get some iced tea.” She left the hall, Virgil at her heels.
When she returned a few minutes later, with the tea, Andrea was still stroking the dog.
“Shamus usually won’t settle down for more than two minutes.” Brynn placed the tray on the round coffee table, trying to keep her hands from shaking. “He must like you, Andrea.”
The child looked up at Brynn with such pain-filled eyes it tore again at her heart. Jake McKenzie hadn’t exaggerated.
“He’s nice,” Andrea said finally, her voice soft.
Brynn continued studying the child. “Yes, he is. Do you like dogs?”
Andrea shrugged.
It wasn’t an eloquent response, but Brynn recognized a slim crack in her apathy. She remembered how Sarah had used the same gesture when words just wouldn’t do or were difficult to summon.
Andrea reminded her so much of Sarah, who’d been so shaken by what life had dealt her. As she had hundreds of times since, Brynn wondered how differently things might have turned out if she’d been more aware then.
But her earlier suspicions couldn’t be ignored. What if the child was simply a terribly effective prop McKenzie was using?
Brynn turned to him. “Sweet tea or plain?”
“Plain, thanks.”
She handed him a glass. “And you, Andrea?”
“Sweet, I guess.”
As she poured the tea, Brynn studied the girl, wanting to connect with her. “What do you like best about school?”
Andrea didn’t look up from the dog. “Nothing.”
Jake caught Brynn’s gaze, his expression pointedly reminding her of his earlier words.
She placed Andrea’s glass on the table. But the girl didn’t reach for the tea. Like her dull eyes, the vacant expression could be the result of drugs. Her skin was unnaturally pale, her eyes shadowed with dark circles. Brynn looked from the girl to Jake McKenzie. There was a definite resemblance, especially in their hair coloring. More telling, every time Jake’s glance fell on his daughter, it filled with genuine concern. His love for Andrea was a nearly palpable thing stretching between the wounded pair. Apparently he was who he said he was. And his daughter clearly needed help. She looked fragile enough to break.
Brynn remembered Jake’s dire prediction—that Andrea was running out of time. What if he was right? Could she turn her back on the girl and risk the worst? Despite her fatigue, Brynn knew the answer. She wouldn’t, couldn’t allow that to happen.
The old, weathered grandfather clock chimed, reminding Brynn of the time. “Andrea, would you take Shamus outside, please?”
The girl hesitated, her hand still on the dog. She glanced up at her father, who nodded. “I guess so.”
Brynn pointed to the terrace doors. “You can go that way. The other dogs may follow.”
Andrea and Shamus walked outside. The two terriers trailed them, but the Border collie remained at Brynn’s side.
As soon as Andrea was out of hearing, Jake leaned forward, urgency etched in his features. “Well?”
“I can see that Andrea needs help.”
“Your help.”
“Andrea’s case is different from the children I’ve dealt with so far. I’ve had no professional training, other than psychology classes in college. Giving children time away from their day-to-day lives, from the stress even well-meaning parents can put on their children, is how I help. But in Andrea’s case…” Brynn paused, swallowing back the memories pushing at her. “Are you certain the relationship with her mother is beyond repair?”
He frowned. “My ex-wife only agreed to have Andrea in return for marriage and a guaranteed financial arrangement. But she’d had all she could take—her words, not mine. When she filed for divorce, she wanted more money, but nothing to do with Andrea.” He stood suddenly and turned toward the windows. “I never guessed a woman could have absolutely no maternal feelings. But Val thought she’d wasted enough time, said she hadn’t signed up for a life sentence. I felt Andrea was better off with no mother than one who resented her. Forcing Val into motherhood was doing no favors for Andrea. I always thought Val would come to love her. How could she not?” Shaking his head, he pivoted back toward Brynn. “This conversation isn’t helping Andrea.”
“If I’m going to help her, I’ll need to know everything.”
Light flashed in his eyes. “You’re going to take on Andrea’s case?”
“I’ll let you know by Monday. My circumstances haven’t changed, but I’ll try to work around them.”
“I’m still prepared to pay you more than—”
“No. As I told you, I do not, will not, accept money for helping a child.”
He stared at her curiously. With just one question, she had managed to pry more from him than he had confided to anyone else in years. And although he’d received a sterling recommendation regarding Brynn, he wished he knew more. Her personal life was a mystery.
Brynn glanced toward the terrace. “In the event that I’m able to work with Andrea, let’s take care of a few preliminaries. While you make out your contact list, I’ll write a list of suggested things for Andrea to pack. She’s free to bring along some personal items as well, but I ask that you eliminate anything noisy, such as CDs. The quiet here forces discussion.”
There was a time when Andrea could laugh and talk over anything, no matter how loud or distracting. Back then, on his return from work-related travel, it was as though his daughter had saved up everything that had happened while he was gone, filling him in on each detail. Val hadn’t cared. She was glad when he was away, discontented when he was home. But not his Annie.
Now, though, it worried him to travel. Every time he returned, it seemed he’d lost another piece of his daughter. Thin and pale, she looked as though she’d gone through a long illness. It was emotional, not physiological, but the result was the same. Andrea was fading away. “We’ll comply with your rules.”
Brynn studied him. “I hope you mean that.”
He drew his eyebrows together. “You doubt it?”
“My methods aren’t completely conventional. Each child dictates his or her treatment.”
“As long as it doesn’t hurt Andrea, I’m on board.”
“Good.” Brynn paused. “Because my priority will be Andrea.”
“That’s what I would expect.”
“I hope you mean that.”
“One hundred percent.” Jake studied her, wondering what prompted this woman to sacrifice so much of her time. He also wanted to know about the other members of the household before entrusting his daughter to Brynn. “Your husband must be a very understanding man.”
“My husband is dead.” Brynn’s voice was matter-of-fact, but her eyes betrayed her pain.
“You live here alone?”
Wariness stiffened her expression and stance. She reached for her dog’s collar. “Not completely.”
Unwilling to frighten or put her off even more, Jake didn’t persist. There would be plenty of time to ask his other questions, if she accepted Andrea.
CHAPTER TWO
AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT, Brynn phoned the Cranstons early the next morning to check on Jake McKenzie’s story. Unable to reach them, she left a message. Although young Andrea had touched her deeply, Brynn couldn’t ignore the possible danger. Having moved twice in the past year, she also couldn’t compromise this last safe place she’d come to call home.
Brynn thought of the moves that had brought her here. First from the home she’d shared with Kirk, then from the last home she’d shared with her daughter.
She stood, pacing as she remembered Kirk’s car accident, the call telling her that he was dead. Then that terrible numbness.
Her valiant daughter had stood beside her as they’d buried him, both unable to believe he was really gone. On their return home they’d discovered that the house had been broken into. The police told Brynn there were criminals who read the obituaries, then used the gruesome opportunity to burgle the deceased’s home. But nothing of much value other than Kirk’s cameras had been stolen.
Brynn had also begun receiving many hang-up calls. But then, she’d been solicited for everything from cemetery plots to cruises after Kirk’s death. However, after one of the calls, she realized someone had been in the house again while she and Sarah were out. It was more subtle that second time, but she saw the signs.
The police took her concerns seriously, but they questioned whether Kirk could have been involved in something unsavory. Although Brynn had vehemently denied that suggestion, she had agreed to allow them to search her home, and later, Kirk’s studio.
Not finding anything, the police also examined Kirk’s photos, which had been placed in storage. Detectives spent a good deal of time examining the collection, but could see no connection between the pictures and the break-in. There seemed to be no clandestine or accidental shot that would compel someone to try to steal the evidence.
Worried about her daughter’s safety, Brynn had moved to a new neighborhood, hoping that whatever the intruders wanted would be forgotten once she and Sarah disappeared.
But then Sarah had died, a tragic incident that had all but shattered Brynn’s own interest in life. There’d been another break-in, but she hadn’t cared. Her family and friends had, however. At Julia’s insistence, she’d moved to the ranch. And now she needed to learn as much as she could about the McKenzies.
Andrea’s school wouldn’t divulge any information. Brynn could certainly understand why, but it didn’t get her any closer to establishing McKenzie’s credibility.
A call to his employer was equally disappointing. They had a strict policy. Nothing could be revealed unless requested in writing, accompanied by the employee’s signed release.
Frustrated, Brynn phoned her friend and confidante, Julia, outlining the situation.
Julia was immediately protective. “I’m not sure I like the sound of this. It could be perfectly innocent, but then again… Listen, why don’t I come out? Stay the weekend? I have some mail for you.”
Brynn didn’t hesitate; the prospect of an ally was immensely comforting. “That would be great if you really don’t have any plans.”
Julia sighed with mock drama. “Zip. I’d have better luck meeting the right man in the middle of the Sahara.”
Brynn chuckled unexpectedly. No matter how down she felt, Julia had a way of making her smile. “Jules, you turn down more men than most women ever meet.”
“I’m glad you’re convinced one of these frogs will turn out to be Prince Charming. I’ve stopped believing he exists.”
Brynn had a sudden image of her late husband, the man she had planned to spend her life with, her prince in every way that counted.
“Brynn, sorry. I didn’t think—”
“No, no!” she said dismissively. “You’re right. I did my fair share of �dissecting’ frogs until I met Kirk.” She pushed back the thick hair that fell across her forehead. “And you can’t keep monitoring every word when you talk to me. Some things will always remind me of Kirk…and Sarah. And that’s not always bad, you know.”
“Yeah, I know,” Julia replied in a gentle tone. “I’m going to grab a few things and get rolling. Anything you need from civilization?”
Everything and nothing. Sometimes it was difficult to believe that she’d once lived only a few miles from the heart of the city. “Just your company.”
“You got it, kid. I’ll make a few quick stops and then I’ll be on my way.”
Brynn hung up, already feeling better. It helped to have someone to share her concerns with. Always independent, she had tried to remain so during her marriage, but it had been easy to become accustomed to having someone to lean on, to talk things over with. So much had changed with Kirk’s death.
Virgil pushed his muzzle into her hand and she petted her loyal friend. “We’re going to have company, Virg. Julia’s coming.”
The dog wagged his tail, recognizing Julia’s name. Before she’d lost her husband and daughter, Brynn’s life had been filled with friends and family. Although her father had passed away and she had no siblings, Brynn had never felt short of family. She was close to her mother and had an array of aunts, uncles and cousins. Although they got together more rarely as she and her cousins had started families of their own, they were a supportive bunch. But when her life was threatened, Brynn hadn’t wanted to expose the people she cared about to danger. Most of her friends and family accepted her wish to be left alone.
Julia, however, had refused to be shut out. Her offer had proved to be a godsend, enabling Brynn to assure her mother that she would be safe. Now she and her mother talked a few times a week. Their phone calls, along with Julia’s visits, kept her connected.
Feeling a little less worried, Brynn freshened up Julia’s bedroom and then headed to her studio. Once absorbed in her work, she didn’t notice that the hours passed, until a clatter at the back door startled her. Her heart pounded as the dogs barked. It took her a few moments to recognize that their noise wasn’t a warning. Brynn placed a hand to her chest, trying to steady her irregular breathing. Then, realizing it must be Julia, she grabbed a towel, hurriedly wiping off her hands as she dashed toward the back door.
Surrounded by adoring animals, including her own dog, Lobo, Julia lifted a hand in greeting. “It’s hard to believe I started this menagerie.” Virgil waited patiently for his pat and Julia didn’t disappoint him. “You’re keeping Brynn safe, aren’t you, boy?”
“My shadow,” Brynn agreed, stepping through the exuberant mass of dogs to hug her friend. It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming.”
“It’s a great excuse to get me out of the madness. I start winding down about fifty miles outside the city. I forget how stressed I am until some of it eases.”
“That’s why this is a good place to escape, for both of us.” Brynn’s smile widened. “But you’d be bored beyond belief if you lived here.”
Julia sighed. “I suppose so. I’m used to getting whatever I want whenever I want it. Speaking of which, I brought goodies!”
Even the dogs looked intrigued when Brynn and Julia reached the car. The back of the SUV was open and Julia picked up an overflowing box. “Everything we need for a weekend in the country, city-style!”
Brynn reached for the carton. “Let me help.”
Handing it to her, Julia picked up a cooler. “Okay. This needs to go in the fridge.”
They opened the box and cooler in the kitchen. The goodies included bottles of Brynn’s favorite wine, Godiva chocolates, Häagen-Dazs ice cream and an assortment of treats from the most exclusive deli in San Antonio.
“I nearly forgot the best thing!”
Brynn groaned. “You don’t think we can possibly eat more than this?”
Julia unearthed one more package and held it up like a trophy. “Shipley’s doughnuts!”
“The world’s best,” Brynn agreed, lifting the lid to eye the contents almost reverently. “We’ll have to walk twenty miles to burn these off.”
“I’m game.”
Brynn filched a chocolate-filled doughnut. “Me, too.”
“I brought milk, but we can have coffee if you want.”
Looking at the empty pot, Brynn frowned. “I meant to make some, but—”
“You got caught up in your work. Good.” Julia’s smile was knowing and kind. “It’s been too long since you’ve been able to do that.”
After she’d lost her family, potting had been both a blessing and a curse. At times Brynn couldn’t get past mixing fresh clay. Inspiration seemed beyond her. Instead it was as though she fought a fog that distorted her artistic vision. Yet at other times, pottery was the only thing that took her out of the endless cycle of self-blame and pain. When she awoke each day, she never knew whether she’d be able to work or not.
Julia measured out the coffee. “While this brews, I’ll bring in the other coolers. I thought the freezer might need filling.”
In order to keep a low profile, Brynn rarely ventured into the small nearby town of Walburg. Instead, the huge walk-in freezer was well stocked. The butler’s pantry and commercial freezer had been installed by Julia’s grandfather, whose hunting trips often ran into weeks or months. And Julia’s father had continued the tradition. Although some of the equipment had been updated, including the addition of a commercial refrigerator, they served the same purpose. A person could remain at the ranch house for months without venturing out for supplies.
As they unloaded the coolers, Brynn felt her throat catch. Julia had done so much for her.
Her friend panted as she pushed a box of steaks onto the top shelf of the freezer. “Whew!” She rubbed cold hands together, then glanced up at Brynn, her face sobering. “What is it?”
Brynn swallowed the rush of emotion. “Wondering where I’d be if you hadn’t stepped in with your offer. Your haven has become mine.”
Julia took her arm. “It can’t be said enough—that’s what friends are for. Brynn, you’ve always been there for me when I’ve slipped, fallen or just plain skidded. I’m glad the house is here—that it’s safe. Come on, let’s dig into those doughnuts and you can tell me more about this guy who’s trying to push his daughter on you.”
Somehow it didn’t seem that sinister in the light of Julia’s practical optimism. Still, over doughnuts and fresh coffee, Brynn told all she knew about Jake McKenzie.
“Have the Cranstons called you back?”
Brynn frowned. “No. And that’s the biggest hitch. They were so grateful that I helped Susan I can’t understand why they would disregard my wishes.”
“Just guessing, I’d say if they did tell McKenzie about you, they didn’t realize the seriousness of compromising your privacy.”
Reluctantly, Brynn nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”
Julia added cream to her coffee. “And I can’t help wondering how McKenzie came up with Susan’s name if he’s not the real deal.”
“Good point.” Brynn abandoned her doughnut. “Unless I’m being watched.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t take that leap quite so fast.”
“I’ll try the Cranstons again.” Brynn paused. “Or maybe it would be best to speak with their doctor first.”
Leaving the table, she put in a call to the psychiatrist who had referred the Cranstons. He was with a patient, but the receptionist assured Brynn she would pass along the message.
“So we still know nothing for sure,” Julia concluded as Brynn clicked off the phone.
“Yep.”
“Brynn, what aren’t you telling me?”
She closed her eyes briefly, the words difficult to summon. “The girl, McKenzie’s daughter. Her pain…I recognized it. Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, I see now that it’s like Sarah’s was. I can’t help thinking this could be a second chance for me.”
“You sure that’s not wishful thinking?” Julia asked gently.
“I suppose it sounds that way.” Brynn exhaled. “And I can see how it appears from your perspective. Doesn’t seem credible, does it?”
Julia’s mouth lifted in a wry half smile. “I’m not making any judgments. I haven’t walked in your shoes.”
Familiar pain filled her. “Don’t.”
Julia linked her arm with Brynn’s. “How ’bout getting a start on those twenty miles?”
Taking a healing stroll through the soothing countryside sounded like a very good idea. She pocketed the cell phone. “Just what the doctor ordered.”
Julia grabbed another doughnut with her free hand. “We might have to make that thirty miles.”
BY SUNDAY EVENING, Brynn knew little more than she had before Julia arrived. Her friend provided a stabilizing, calming effect. But Brynn needed to know more about Jake McKenzie, especially since his daughter remained in her thoughts.
Sipping a glass of pleasingly tart blush wine, Brynn stared at the phone, willing it to ring.
“The Cranstons might have gone out of town for the weekend,” Julia suggested.
“I thought of that. But it irks me that the doctor hasn’t phoned.”
“A doctor on the weekend? You’d have a better chance of getting through to the White House.”
“So what do I tell McKenzie tomorrow?”
Julia met her gaze. “I didn’t meet him, so I can’t give an opinion. But my gut instinct says protect this place.”
“Hmm.”
“It’s more than just McKenzie, isn’t it?”
Brynn placed her glass on the table, restlessness overtaking her. “I can’t run forever, especially since I don’t know what I’m running from.”
“The unknown’s damn scary,” Julia advised gently. “But if the police couldn’t discover a motive for the break-ins, how can you expect to? You know they scanned Kirk’s photos, compared them with the national data bank. And they admitted the photos were exactly what they appeared to be. No covert snap of anyone famous or infamous.”
“The second set of detectives believed that was because photography was supposed to be Kirk’s cover.” Even now, the bile rose in her throat as she remembered their insinuations. They felt he must have been involved in something shady and ultimately lethal.
“But you know the truth.”
Did she? In her darkest moments, Brynn wondered if she could have somehow been wrong—horribly, terribly wrong. The man she knew had loved his family and put them first. Yet she had no explanation for what had happened after his death. “I’m probably overreacting.”
“You have to be concerned about your safety, not only for yourself but for your work. Think of the children you’ve already had here. Where would they be without your help?”
As true as that might be, Brynn also knew that she couldn’t live with herself if, out of fear, she turned Andrea McKenzie away and the child took her own life.
The phone rang. It was Dr. Halliwell, the psychiatrist who had referred Susan Cranston. He admitted that he’d passed Brynn’s number along to Jake McKenzie. The men had been roommates in college. And he’d also thought it helpful for Jake to speak with the Cranstons, because Susan’s experience had been so positive. Since the doctor had only Brynn’s cell number to pass along, there was nothing to reproach the man for. He didn’t know about Brynn’s special circumstances.
After he hung up, Brynn related his end of the conversation to Julia. “And I suppose the Cranstons saw no harm in giving out my location to their doctor’s friend.” Deflated by the rush of conflicting emotions, Brynn collapsed in one of the comfortable chairs. “Do you think the threat could possibly be past?”
Julia’s eyes filled with worry. “How can you know for sure without exposing yourself?”
“You’re right. And I don’t think I could face another move—even if I had a place to run to.”
CHAPTER THREE
SOMETHING HAD CHANGED in Brynn Alder. Jake didn’t know why, but he wasn’t questioning their good fortune.
True to her word, Brynn had called him first thing that morning. Without hesitation, she had agreed to start working with Andrea. And she’d willingly answered all his queries, leading him to believe his daughter would be safe with her.
In return, he had complied with Brynn’s wish to speak to the psychiatrist about easing Andrea off her medications.
Jake then wasted no time collecting Andrea and her belongings. Now, turning in at the unmarked road that led to Brynn’s house, he squeezed Annie’s hand, offering reassurance. But she didn’t respond. God, he wished he could repair all the damage his ex-wife had inflicted.
He’d been an idiot to become involved with a woman who cared for nothing but herself. And naive to believe that motherhood would somehow change that. Still, Val’s presence had meant a great deal to Annie, since he was gone so frequently.
He was as riddled with guilt as with worry. His career had provided all the material benefits his family needed. And since he was dissatisfied with his marriage, it had also provided an escape. But there hadn’t been one for Annie.
Jake glanced over at her. “We’re almost there.”
No response.
He withheld a sigh as the ranch came into sight. It sat on sloping land at the base of a sheltering hill. The stone house looked as though it could stand for many more generations.
Driving into the wide yard, he parked beneath one of the many shade trees. As he got out of the car, the front door opened and Brynn appeared. Apparently she had been watching for them.
She waited beside a glider on the porch, her face partially hidden by flower-filled hanging baskets, though he caught a quick impression of her tall, slim form and long golden hair. As before, the Border collie stood by her side.
Picking up a suitcase and taking his daughter’s hand, he climbed the wide steps to the porch. Jake couldn’t help feeling as though he and Andrea were new kids on the first day of school.
Brynn stepped closer, gesturing to the entry-way. “Andrea, your room is at the top of the stairs, first door on the left.”
Jake gripped the large suitcase more tightly, glancing at the backpack hanging from his daughter’s other hand. When Brynn offered to help her get settled in, Andrea stepped back, and Jake sensed her distress. “I can carry the suitcase upstairs, get her unpacked.”
“That will be fine. I made some sandwiches and lemonade. I’ll carry them out to the terrace.”
Grateful for her sensitivity, Jake climbed the stairs with his daughter. The room Brynn had chosen for Andrea was both soothing and cheerful. Freshly picked sunflowers and other wildflowers he couldn’t identify were arranged in vases around the room, providing bursts of color. Sage-green walls framed the wide, tall window.
Andrea listlessly accepted his help, not caring where her belongings were put. She dragged her feet as they walked downstairs. Even though he knew this stay was for her benefit, Jake couldn’t repress his guilt, sensing her confusion and fright.
“Annie, Mrs. Alder’s going to help you. And I’m only a phone call away.”
She didn’t look reassured.
His heart heavy, Jake draped one arm over Andrea’s shoulders as they walked out to the cobbled terrace.
Brynn waited for them at a redwood table also decorated with sunflowers. As they approached, she poured the lemonade. “I’m always parched after a long drive.”
“Looks good,” Jake agreed, accepting a glass.
Andrea ignored the cool drink as Shamus settled beside her. Hesitantly, the girl petted his shaggy head. Remembering how she’d responded to the dog on her first visit, Brynn was encouraged. Often animals could reach children when no human could.
Once they’d eaten, Brynn took them on a tour of the house and immediate grounds. Inside the hazy, sunlight-pricked interior of the barn, bales of clean hay were stacked in a stair-step fashion, and a small tack room smelled of aged leather. Six horses were stabled in generous stalls. The Fords had always loved riding on the land they owned.
Julia was the last of her family, and the ranch was important to her. Even though these days she didn’t live on the old homestead, Brynn was certain her friend would never sell the property. It meant too much to her.
Walking farther into the barn, Brynn spotted Roy Bainter, a local man who had cared for the Fords’ horses for decades. He and his wife, Mary, lived close to town. To date, Roy was the only local she’d met. Brynn had found that he was kind but taciturn, with a soft spot for kids.
“Hello, Roy. I’d like you to meet some new friends.”
The older man removed his hand from the mane of the horse he was grooming. The animals loved Roy, and the horse nudged his shoulder with her muzzle.
Jake chuckled. “Looks like we’re making the filly jealous.”
Roy met Jake’s gaze with an appraising one of his own. “You know horses?”
Jake nodded. “I took lessons, then rode regularly at a stable in the city. But that was a lot of years ago.”
“Mebbe. But a man doesn’t forget the things that count.”
The men shook hands.
Brynn continued the introductions. “And this is Jake’s daughter, Andrea.”
Roy glanced down at the girl, who didn’t speak. “Good, a quiet one. She’ll do.”
Andrea’s eyes showed a glimmer of surprise.
“You know anything about horses, girl?”
Brynn didn’t think she would answer. But then Andrea slowly shook her head.
“Well, you’re young enough to learn. This here’s Lizzie. Most of the time she’s a good old girl. Now and then she thinks she’s the queen of England and I gotta call her Elizabeth.” Roy glanced up at Brynn. “Mary baked an extra pie. I put it in the kitchen.”
She hadn’t noticed either the pie or his entry, Brynn realized. But it was the custom of the area, and doors weren’t kept locked. She’d tried to take Julia’s advice and not panic at the innocent gestures. “Thank you, Roy. We’ll enjoy it.”
Seeing that Andrea was intrigued with the horses and not paying attention to her father, Brynn touched Jake’s arm, gesturing toward the wide, open double doors.
Jake accompanied her outside. But he looked back, his gaze lingering on Andrea, his expression troubled.
Watching him, Brynn understood the unspoken emotion. Although he’d fought to bring Andrea here, he hated leaving her. “Once Andrea and I become more acquainted, I think we’ll get on well.” She smiled gently, hoping he could take reassurance from the words.
“I’m sure you will.” He shifted his glance from his daughter. “I’m going to stay in Walburg for a few days, to be close by.”
Brynn frowned.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know much about Walburg, but I doubt there’s a motel.”
He looked at her curiously. How could she live in this remote area and not know much about the closest town? “I’ll find something. Now I’d better say goodbye to Andrea.”
Retracing his steps, he approached his daughter and took her hand. “Remember, Annie, Mrs. Alder is going to help you.”
He nearly lost his resolve when a tear escaped her eye. Instead, he bent down for a final but fierce hug.
“I’ll phone,” he promised after releasing Andrea. “And you have my cell number.”
Roy turned away, busying himself with the horse feed.
Realizing Andrea wasn’t going to reply, Jake forced himself not to look back as he left the barn.
Brynn stood beside the corral. “I know you’re worried about her. I would hate to leave a troubled child of my own with a stranger.”
Jake searched her face, hoping he’d made the right decision, that he was wise to place his trust in this woman.
Her kind smile seemed to say that she understood his concerns, that it would be all right.
Even though she shut the gate quietly after he passed through it, the closing sounded so final. Realizing that lingering wouldn’t help Andrea, he climbed into his SUV and drove back to the main road.
Once he reached Walburg, it didn’t take long to drive its meager streets. He spotted a church, a school, various stores and small businesses, an old-fashioned hamburger place and even an additional small eatery. But he didn’t see a motel or inn.
He stopped at the gas station and began pumping fuel. Jake didn’t see anyone until the he’d replaced the pump, his tank full. A man dressed in neat but well-used overalls emerged from the garage. Jake handed over his credit card. “Is there a motel or boardinghouse nearby?”
“The closest is probably in Kalochton. Not much of a place, but it’d do in a pinch.”
“How far is Kalochton?”
“About fifty miles.”
An hour’s drive. He wanted to be closer. “And if it’s full, how far is another one?”
“Another fifty miles. But the place in Kalochton’s never full except during Octoberfest.”
Jake accepted his receipt. “Thanks for the information.”
“Thanks for your business. Stop by again if you’re in town.”
The unexpected small-town courtesy reminded Jake of days past, when hospitality had been the trademark of small businesses. A time before one-stop superstores had changed rural America. “I’ll do that.”
Encouraged by the man’s friendliness, Jake considered it a good sign that Andrea would be close to this community.
Traveling on the two-lane road, he found it took an hour and a half to reach Kalochton. All that could be said for the motel was that his room had an adequate bed—although it had to be pulled out from the wall. And once down, the Murphy bed filled the room. There was no desk on which to spread out the contents of his packed briefcase, and between a very spare shower stall and a small sink, the minuscule bathroom had just enough space to turn around in.
Unconcerned about the accommodations, Jake phoned the ranch. Mrs. Alder answered, saying there was nothing to report. She didn’t attempt to falsely assure him that all was well. They both knew Andrea was far from well.
Although exhausted by the emotional upheaval, Jake knew he couldn’t nap during the day; his restless energy never allowed it. He was accustomed to staying in hotels around the world, where his work always absorbed him. But now, even after he’d unrolled a set of plans, he couldn’t concentrate. All he could see was his daughter’s tortured face, the pull of her pleading eyes. And the woman who might well be Annie’s last chance.
BRYNN RUBBED HER FOREHEAD, trying to fend off the beginnings of a headache. It had been a long day, this first one with Andrea. That wasn’t uncommon. Most young teens initially resented being sent to her. Andrea, however, didn’t display resentment, but rather hopelessness. And that, Brynn knew, was far more difficult to overcome.
She’d had one small victory. Convincing Andrea to drink a fortified milkshake wasn’t a huge accomplishment, but the steps to recovery were often small.
Now, Andrea had gone to bed. She was docile about accepting the rules. But the apathy was hard to take. Brynn glanced at her watch. Enough time had passed that Andrea should be asleep.
Walking quietly, Brynn entered the guest room, accompanied by the quiet clicking of Virgil’s toenails. The small night-light she always left on glowed in the still room. Shamus, who had stuck close to Andrea all day, was stretched out beside the bed.
Stepping around the dog, Brynn studied the girl. Even in sleep, she looked agitated. Brynn gently stroked back the hair that fell over Andrea’s cheek, remembering how she had often done the same to her daughter. It was one of the many things she missed. In twelve years of tucking Sarah in, no day had been complete without that ritual.
Sighing, she stepped back, stooping to pat Shamus, then went out quietly, leaving the door ajar so she could hear Andrea if there was a problem in the night.
Once back in her own room, Brynn strolled to the window. Outside, the sky was clear and dark, unmarred by city lights. The quiet, the peace…it had helped her these past months. But the nights were still bad—the loneliness of her bed, the lack of someone with whom to talk over all the big or little events of the day.
Her cats, Bert and Ernie, were curled up on the pillow next to hers. The terriers, Molly and Duncan, were stretched out on the thick rug beside the bed. But Virgil wouldn’t rest until she did. After climbing into bed, Brynn picked up the book on her nightstand. But her mind traveled from the page to the child down the hall. After an hour, she gave up trying to read and turned off the light. Sleep was usually elusive, but she hoped it would come tonight.
Some time later, in that blurry state before being truly asleep, Brynn jerked awake when she heard a piercing scream. Heart racing, she touched her lips, wondering if the scream had come from her own mouth, as it had so often in the past, the product of her continuing nightmares.
But the wail continued. Jumping from her bed, Brynn tore down the hall and into Andrea’s room. The child’s eyes were still closed, her body rigid, held in the grip of a nightmare.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Brynn gently grasped the girl’s shoulders. “Andrea, wake up, sweetie. Come on. Wake up.”
Andrea’s eyes opened and she flinched. A rapid pulse was visible in her thin throat. Patting her back, Brynn spoke motherly, comforting words, but Andrea didn’t respond. Terror convulsed her, then huge, wrenching sobs erupted.
“Andrea, it’s all right. It was a nightmare. Scary, I know, but not real.”
Andrea shook her head in denial. “It’s real! I’m here!” Through the words, she gasped for breath.
It hit Brynn what she meant. Apparently feeling abandoned by her father, Andrea thought the nightmare was her life. Brynn couldn’t let the child believe her father would desert her as her mother had. “Annie, do you want me to call your dad?”
The girl’s quivering head finally bobbed up and down.
“I’ll go phone. Shamus and Virgil will stay with you.” Directing Virgil to stay, Brynn hurried downstairs to locate Jake’s number. She didn’t want to explain the nightmare in front of Andrea, yet she worried about leaving her alone for long. Luckily, Jake grasped the situation quickly and agreed to come at once.
Back upstairs, Brynn did her best to comfort Andrea, but the girl’s sobbing continued. Brynn knew how it felt to have her heart broken. But it was worse, far worse, seeing it happen to a child.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE BEDROOM WAS QUIET when Jake entered. Andrea was curled in the fetal position, her face red and puffy. The dog that had taken a liking to his daughter stood beside the bed, watching him carefully.
As Jake sat down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipped under his weight, alerting Andrea. As soon as she saw him, she broke into tears, the sobs wrenching her thin body.
Instinctively he drew her close to his chest. “Annie, it’s me. You’re safe now.”
But her sobbing continued.
“I told you I was only a phone call away.”
She pulled back, staring at him doubtfully.
Jake searched her eyes, remembering Brynn’s words. She thinks you’ve abandoned her. Could Brynn be right? Did Andrea really believe that? “Annie, you’re here only because you need help that I don’t know how to give.”
“Will you stay with me?” she pleaded.
“Why don’t I sit with you until you fall asleep?”
Her eyes clouded and Jake wondered what he’d said that was wrong. Since Val had left it seemed nothing he did was right. After several minutes passed, he patted her shoulder. “I need to talk to Mrs. Alder, then I’ll be right back.”
He could hear Andrea’s continued sniffling as he left the room and headed downstairs to the den. Wordlessly, Brynn handed him a mug of steaming coffee.
“Thanks,” he murmured gratefully.
“I thought you might need it. How’s Andrea?”
“A little better. I told her I’d stay with her until she falls asleep. Actually, I’d like to stay with her the night. Will that wreak havoc with your house rules?”
“No. Andrea needs you tonight.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Al—”
“Call me Brynn, please. You’ll find an extra blanket in the bedroom closet.”
“That’s kind of you.”
“It’s going to take time with Andrea, Mr.—”
“Jake,” he interrupted.
“Jake,” she repeated, her soft voice giving his name a lilt he’d never heard before. “But, however long it takes, I won’t give up on her.”
Gratified, Jake nodded. “I’d better get back to Andrea.”
“I’ll leave the lights on in the den, and if you need me, my room is at the end of the upstairs hall.”
Once back in Andrea’s room, he moved the desk chair next to the bed. She watched him, her eyes anxious.
“Try to sleep, Annie.”
“You won’t leave, Daddy?”
His heart clenched. It had been a long time since she’d called him “Daddy.” He thought that had gone the way of Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. “No, I won’t leave.” At least not tonight. Surely her reaction was simply first-night jitters.
Watching as Annie’s eyes began to droop, he hoped Brynn had a touch of magic in her arsenal.
AFTER A NEARLY SLEEPLESS night, Brynn gave up the battle and rose early, deciding they would all need a substantial breakfast. She’d checked on Andrea twice during the night. Both times she was asleep, but her father wasn’t. It didn’t look as though Jake had moved. He’d lifted his gaze long enough to acknowledge Brynn’s presence each time, but neither of them had spoken, not wanting to waken Andrea.
Reaching the kitchen, Brynn opened the door for the dogs. All of them, except Shamus, who hadn’t left Andrea’s room, loped outside. Ignoring the frisky animals, Bert and Ernie strolled behind them, delicately stretching until the path was clear.
Measuring the coffee, Brynn decided to make it strong. For a moment she stared out through the kitchen window, thinking of her daughter. Why hadn’t she seen the symptoms? So caught up in her grief over Kirk, had she simply not seen what was right in front of her?
Remembering how Sarah had loved French toast, Brynn whisked the egg mixture, hoping it might appeal to Andrea, too. Although she hadn’t seen Andrea when she was well, Brynn suspected that rather than going through an abrupt change, the child had slowly faded, emotionally and physically. Faded away until her state of mind was painfully obvious. Thinking again of Sarah, Brynn bit down on her bottom lip as a stray tear escaped. How could she have blinded herself to the most important thing in her life?
Hearing Jake clear his throat from across the room, she hastily swiped at the tear, composing her face. “Is Andrea awake?”
He looked at her curiously but didn’t pry. “Yes. She’s getting dressed. Coffee smells good.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Brynn managed a small smile. “The mugs are in the cabinet on your right.”
Pouring his own coffee, he glanced at the food she was preparing. “Looks good.”
“After a rough night, I thought we could all use the reinforcement.”
“I remember when Andrea used to consume a stack of pancakes, a bowl of cereal, and then be ready for more within an hour. These days…”
Hearing the wistful note in his voice, Brynn wanted to offer him some encouragement. “Yesterday she drank a milkshake. I’d added vitamin-infused protein powder, disguised by ice cream. I think it was a step in the right direction.”
He looked at her gratefully. “Your reputation is well earned.”
“There’s still a long way to go, I’m afraid. A lot of depressed kids lose their appetite. That’s why I keep the protein powder and ice cream on hand. It’s hard to resist a milkshake.”
“By the time I realized Andrea had a problem, I couldn’t tempt her with anything.”
Brynn thought of her own failure to recognize Sarah’s pain. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re doing something now.”
Nodding, he sipped the steaming coffee.
Brynn added cream to her own coffee. “Let’s see how today goes. After breakfast, I want to work with Andrea on my own.”
“I’ll be at the motel in case…” His words trailed off as Andrea silently entered the kitchen. Jake remembered the many times he’d pleaded for quiet when she’d bounded into a room, a flurry of movement and noise. “Morning, Pooh.” The old nickname slipped out, one he’d affectionately called her years before when she’d become obsessed with Winnie the Pooh.
She looked startled. “Morning.” The word was mumbled, but at least she’d replied. Shamus entered the kitchen with more noise than Andrea had.
“Would you let him out?” Brynn asked.
“Okay.” As Andrea did, the other dogs rushed in, pushing past her to look for their own breakfast.
“I hope you like French toast,” Brynn commented.
Andrea shrugged thin shoulders. “I’m not hungry.”
“Then I’ll only put a small portion on your plate.”
Jake noticed Brynn hadn’t put the food on a serving platter, instead arranging it on individual plates. Andrea didn’t have to reach for anything, and the food was harder to ignore when placed right beneath her nose.
Flanked by adults, Andrea stared at her breakfast, then finally took a bite of the fragrant toast.
Jake glanced up, meeting Brynn’s encouraging gaze. It was a small step, but he felt a bit of hope. And for today it was enough.
AFTER JAKE LEFT, Brynn worked to breach Andrea’s apathy. First she assigned her a small chore, that of checking the pets’ needs—their drinking water and sleeping quarters. The job was a simple one, but Brynn knew Andrea needed some responsibilities. And Shamus was by the girl’s side again.
Brynn smiled at her. “Shamus has never taken to anyone so quickly or completely before.”
Andrea gave her usual shrug, but couldn’t conceal the spark of light in her gaze.
“Dogs are the best judges of people, you know.”
This time there was no shrug.
“I spoke to your doctor yesterday morning. With his approval, your dad and I agreed to begin easing off your meds.”
This time Brynn was certain she saw interest in Andrea’s expression. “Is Dad coming back tonight?”
“Why don’t we see how it goes this evening?” she suggested.
Andrea retreated again, until Shamus pushed his head against her arm. She hesitated, then petted the adoring animal. “When do we start with my meds?”
“Tonight. How does that sound?”
She petted Shamus again. “Okay.”
Studying her expression, Brynn saw the barely concealed desperation. But she wasn’t going to fail this child. This child so like her own Sarah.
MINDFUL OF ANDREA’S fragile state, her susceptibility to a suicide attempt, Brynn had come to a difficult decision. That evening, she’d phoned Jake, asking him to bring an overnight bag. Now he paced the den as she outlined her suggestion that he stay at the ranch.
She saw the indecision on his face. “I’ve been trying to assess what she needs. And my instincts tell me that she needs you more than anything.”
He paused. “I understand that.”
“I’m not sure you do.” Brynn leaned forward. “Jake, you and Andrea need to learn how to communicate all over again.”
He frowned. “She’s ill because her mother left.”
“And because your relationship with her isn’t filling the void.”
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